Happy Canada Day & Watch Out For “Short Term” Emotions
Happy Canada Day & Watch Out For “Short Term” Emotions
“We can learn to find just one more option. To check our assumptions against reality.
To make tough choices based on our core priorities. To prepare humbly for the times when we’ll be wrong”. – Chip & Dan Heath
Happy Canada Day to all of you! While you enjoy the holiday to mark the start of summer, I hope that you read a book, spend time with family or get out and explore our beautiful city. If you are going to read over this long weekend, I have a book selection that I would like to share with you.
I read a fascinating book entitled “Decisive” by Chip Heath & Dan Heath. Psychology research has shown that it is “hair trigger” or “short term emotions” that really do affect our decisions in life. In the blink of an eye, our brains literally scan our biases, irrational fears, beliefs and replay past experiences to create the catalyst for our decisions. With the internet now a source for everything, most of us actually use it to reaffirm the beliefs that we already hold, and simply ignore or downplay any information which we deem not in alignment with our beliefs. A good example of this (which can also be quite dangerous without seeking the professional advice of a doctor) is when you have a rash suddenly appear on your arm. A quick search of this condition on the internet, and you can easily confirm that the rash appears to be similar in nature to that of a heat rash, or if you are a little more pessimistic, you can find another website that will confirm that you are indeed dying of a rare disease.
How does our biases affect our relationships? In a troubled marriage, often partners will focus on the negative actions of the other, while minimizing or simply not noticing the positive behaviors. Therapist Aaron T. Beck advises that a “marriage diary” can save couples from the brink of divorce, simply by asking the couples to write in their journals each day any selfless, kind or positive action by their spouse. How does a “marriage diary” often change the dynamics of a relationship? When someone feels slighted or rejected, our natural bias kicks in and we often look for behaviors that can reinforce our belief – such as “she never appreciates the things that I do around the house like cutting the grass and taking the garbage to the curb”. Research showed that 70% of couples who kept a “marriage diary” reported an improvement in their marriage. It was the AWARENESS of the positive attributes and intent of their partner that had been underestimated. Recognizing and acknowledging (in their journal), the positive behavior was something that changed how couples viewed their partner.
What is short-term emotion? Short term emotions do not allow us to make good long-term decisions IF we are being impulsive, do not have all of the necessary facts, or are making the decision based on the instant gratification it will provide to us (such the hamburger, French fries and chocolate sundae). Sometimes, we are simply overconfident. Short-term emotion can also have the opposite effect on others, whereby they simply FREEZE and cannot make a decision (even when it is needed), or let an opportunity pass because they are too fearful of change. When buying, selling or investing in real estate, a careful balance of action and consideration are needed. Studies have shown that the advice that we give to our friends often reflects a “seeing the forest through the trees” viewpoint, whilst our own personal vantage point is often “stuck in the trees”. Often times, a simple yet extremely effective question to ask yourself when considering a decision is “What would I tell my best friend to do?”
I have seen short-term emotions played out in countless ways. When making an important decision to buy or sell, having the proven experience and knowledge of a real estate professional can often allow clients to properly decipher their short-term emotions. I have cautioned clients that they should stay below the amount that they are pre-approved for, as it is critical to have money set aside for “rainy days” such as the unexpected home repairs that a home owner faces. As well, it is important to have a plan in place when you decide to sell. Do you plan on renting? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? There are often many quick decisions that need to be made by a buyer or seller, and having the counsel of a professional can help to guide one through the pitfalls that “short term emotions” can land you in.
So, in conclusion, if you are concerned about the rash on your arm, speak with a medical professional before posting on Facebook that you have contracted “Stevens Johnson Syndrome” – a rate, acute and potentially fatal skin reaction. Before you consider selling your home, or buying your first home, speak with a real estate professional and get the proper advice and support that you deserve. Oh, and if you are wondering how I know about “Stevens Johnson Syndrome” – I had to Google it!
Brian McCullough, Myles McCullough & Kiel Lukaniuk
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McCullough Marketing is here to assist you with ALL of your real estate dreams. I have found that it is often the small things that make the biggest impact for home sellers, and I am happy to share with you my booklet titled “90 Tips For Getting Your Home Ready for Sale”which I can email you. Feel free to contact me or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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